As many of you know, I am extremely pale. I am the queen of paleness! Don’t worry, there are photos.
During my 37 years I have been called everything and then some. I’m ugly, I’m disgusting, I shouldn’t be allowed in public, I should kill myself etc. And then there are the looks… When you look a me, point me out to your friends and you pretend to throw up, I see you. Don’t for a second think otherwise! Year after year, summer after summer.
I have received so much hate and rudeness that there were years where I refused to leave my home if I wasn’t covered up.
I did want it to be a full body photo, but I felt like I didn’t want to blind you (see, it’s ok when I say it!) 🙂
So why am I talking about racism in the title to this post when I’m clearly white? Because the people that give me hate, and death “jokes” about the colour of my skin, are the very same people that will use me and my skin against black people and poc.
The people that hate on me are white people. Never, not once, has a black person or a person of colour said anything or looked at me with disgust.
The people that make nasty comments to me, are horrible people. But, when I tell people about what I suffer, because trust me, I suffer, they will go on about how I understand racism. They are talking about how people are being racists towards me. I tell them no, this is not racism, but apparantly, I don’t have a vocie in their eyes, they always know better! Every dang time, I tell them that what I endure is far, far from racism, but nothing. It doesn’t matter what I say, people won’t listen. They do their best to try and convince me that they’re right. I’ve said good bye to a lot of “friends” due to this. When a white person tells me they now understand racism, and that it isn’t that bad, because of what I mention, I don’t want anything to do with that person. I try to educate people, just like I educate myself. But some people are so determined to be right…
A lot of white people have, over the years, tried to belittle black people and what they go through because “it doesn’t hurt Jea that bad!” I’ve been there to hear it. I’m sick and tired of having people use my name and my person to do this! LISTEN when black people tell you how it is. LISTEN when they tell you what they go through! LISTEN when they tell you how bad it hurts! LISTEN when they talk!
I suffer. I get sad. I move away from people. That’s the result of what I get. That’s it!
I have never been denied a job because I’m pale. I have never feared for my life or safety because I’m pale. I have never been followed around in stores because I’m pale. I have never been stopped by police because I’m pale. And most importantly – I will never be murdered because I’m pale.
Laugh at me if you want. Call me names if you want. Point at me if you want. Tell me I’m disgusting if you want. Tell me I look sick if you want. But do not use me as an excuse to belittle the black experience!
Let’s put it in a way that makes it very, very clear – white people hating on white people for being too pale has nothing, zero, zilch, nada to do with racism. Clear enough?
Keep looking up ❤